Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
