can we get nightvision for the apartment?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize