to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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