i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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