very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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