All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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