mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
