Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
