I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
