HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
