My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize