talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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