i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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