There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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