Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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