one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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