I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
