Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
