will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
