Sry I called you an 8
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
