Me. At least after what I've been through.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
