Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
