There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize