she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
