very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
