It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
