Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
