i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
