I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
