it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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