you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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