Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
