I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
