you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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