We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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