Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
