I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
