her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
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