My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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