The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
