if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sorry about my life...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
