Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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