It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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