Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I enjoy the company of your penis
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
