watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
