my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize