we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
