i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
