the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
