hotel room ftw
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
