I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
