I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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