the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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