I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
