She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
