So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
