Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
