Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize