idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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