drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
