i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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